Reflections of a Disciple

Hi CG,

I found this post by Wenjiang an extremely meaningful post, an heartfelt sharing and something that struck a chord within my heart. At times, I could really identify with the things that is mentioned within his post..

http://reflectionsofadisciple.blogspot.com/2008/12/reflection-on-one-thing-i-love.html

The past year of ministry has really been an eye opener for me. Back then in student ministry, my perspective of church and people around me used to be that of trusting people unreservingly and trusting leaders in the decisions that they make for the kingdom. Subsequently, as my spiritually walk with God grew as I learn to lead and serve, my trust for people waviered and I started to realise and wonder how come people seemes to choose to stay at where they are and making sub-optimal decisions and struggling with the same old issues again and again. I started to think how come people/leaders are not making sense of their experience enough in their lives. I mean if God is indeed real, shouldn't we expect breakthrus' as readily as it comes as we choose to apply his principles and word in our lives? God consistently break my naviety as I continue to observe that people are easily succumbed by sins, enslaved by a lack of faith in their lives, self-absorption, trusting in deceptions and lies, being emotionally led instead of being from the word of God. (including me in case your are thinking it is an self-righteous thought.)

The issue of balancing grace and speaking the truth has always been of paramount importance to me, particularly as a spiritual mentor and probably one of the most difficult area to manage as a Care Leader. (I am still very raw in managing this area for my life and the flocks under my care)In the church setting, at one extreme, if grace is consistently being shown, people will turned out to be very inward-looking and self-absorbed, focusing on individual needs, yet at the other extreme, constant harping on confronting the truth only makes you a legalistic church and people perceive you as a cold person. I could have easily chosen the path of just being a member, focusing on my own spiritual walk with God.

But this part is so heartfelt, "I do not look from the outside and say that the church cannot make it, but I recognise that I am part of the Church of Christ who is as equally fallible as any other, and as I endeavor to keep my life right in His eyes, I endeavor to build church, to do church the way it is meant to be, not the way I want it, but the way that God wants it, that is revealed in principles in His Word, in His leading, directing and guidance through the counsel of the leaders, through observing the sign of the times and through patiently waiting on Him. I endeavor to be part of the process, to be part of the game. I do not wait until the church is right before I join it (again). I do my part to get it right."

As 2008 ended, one of the most important lessons learned personally has been the balance between empathising vs confronting the truth and doing what is right. Indeed I also readily agree to my shepherd's David reflection, excerpts of it : My understanding of how God works is that God tests us in areas that we need to be tested in; if we fail to measure up, it will be an issue that God would keep getting back to us on. Because He cares and He knows that we need strengthening in those areas. That those are the hindrances to the new and full life that God has for us. That means God would allow situations to surface the core needs and motivations of the heart. It's another way of saying that God's word shows us up for who we are deep inside, bones and marrow... We are not pretty inside. It is a fact that should always bring sobriety to our life.

May we have a good time of personal reflection as we round up our days in 2008 and hope the post by Wenjiang gives your a good perspective between our belief in God and our church. :)

Running the race together
Jinghe